Lorna Dee Cervantes On "The Poet Is Served Her Papers"

I noticed a great deal of traffic to my main blog site from people, mostly from Florida, searching for information on this poem, so I decided to write something on it. "The Poet Is Served Her Papers" is from the first section in my second book, From the Cables of Genocide: Poems on Love and Hunger. I call it my grief book, poems about loss and longing. There are several poems from the first two sections that are the result of repeating nightmares replaying old arguments from a divorce I wasn't very happy about. One way to exorcise those nightmares, I guess, was to revisit the trauma in a poem. That's the "fever dream" referred to in the first line, and in the line with the pun on "mare" later on in the poem. This is also a poem about what the media then coined, "the feminization of poverty." It was about a time I was divorcing, in grad school, and very poor. Divorcing and moving, eventually to another state, made for more than a few bounced checks -- and divorce being like those "bad checks we scrawl/ with our mouths" in saying those vows.

The first two lines of the second stanza have to do with being a poet who writes and recites love poems -- and wanting to believe those sweet lies in the aftermath -- to speak to the lover in anything but the harsh tones of a break-up. "Speak lips opening on a bed of nails" refers to the leap of faith required of marital love, like the yogic practice of lying on a bed of nails -- to trust and transcend the pain inherent in the form. "The creaking of cardboard/ in these telling shoes" refers to an early experience of deep shame and self-consciousness over having to place squares of cardboard over the holes in my shoes, and how mishapen they would become, and squeak from cardboard -- the intimacy of that shared memory; the loss of somone who shares that intimate memory: who else could now hear it? The "mint of my mind" is an image of the place where coins are produced; an old coin should go up in value, but here the image is of devaluation, like an old Mexican peso: for being old-fashioned, for holding on to the promise of longterm conjugal love. Also, I have several images comparing myself to a coin -- someone once, unkindly, told me that I resembled the portrait on an Indian-head nickle. It's a distant reference to the fact that there was a time in the early '70s when American Indian women were much desired by non-Indian men.

There are multiple puns and layers of meaning in the fourth stanza: the first refers to the question: How many angels can dance on the head of a pin? from a poem, the title and author of which escapes me. And the Biblical image of going through the eye of a needle. Here, like the coin image, it's devalued into angels milling around the head of a flea, a blood-sucking parasite, instead of a pin, meant to be useful and homey as a wife. At the time I was "broke" down to my "blood", or so it seemed; sorrel is a horse's color, a rare mare, sorrel is also a weedlike herb -- you can eat it if you're starving. "A lone mare", besides the pun on "nightmare", refers to how one calls a racehorse just by it's color: the sorrel; or, "the wife." Buffalo chips can be used as cooking fuel out on the plains when there is nothing else; "cashing in" as in a poker game: end of the game, i.e., divorce.

My ex-husband once wrote in my writing notebook early on in our dating: "The writer, it's a cul-de-sac," which was a quote from Franz Kafka's letters. He won me over early on with that line. When I read that line I make a gesture forming a heart with my hands and arms, than slowly separating them, making what looks to me like two cul-de-sacs in the air. In other words, I still love my husband, I don't want the divorce, I want to read all those love letters again in the mail, and not divorce papers I am being served. The painted hummingbird hearts had to do with an intimate detail from the relationship, he was in love with an Asian woman at work and had painted hummingbird breasts for her in the style of Chinese brush painting. I like the idea of a phone ringing sounding like the tactile equivalent of a licking or lapping cat tongue, for example -- the phone which doesn't ring, and change "my life." The "pay and pay and pay" line refers to the alimony I never asked for, and more, it refers to a Ruben Blades song I listened to over and over again during this time. It was about his mother and how she never slept ever since his father left, and how she would stay up and watch the ghosts on the television keeping away the ghosts of her memories. It had a verse line, roughly translated as it contained several puns, about how "the debts of the heart have never been paid in full" (nunca han pagado) that plays on how she never turns off the light. That song is in this poem, the ghost of it -- those dark angels milling around on the head of a flea.

Lorna Dee Answers Questions On Race, Class and Gender and Her Poetry

Hello my name is Jessica and I am currently a student of professor Bill Allegrezza's recent writing class. I have chosen your book Drive The First Quartet which I am enjoying very much. I haven't decided on a favorite poem at this time still have about a 1/4 of the book left to read so I can't say at this time. I will say the one that seems to make me laugh the most is "On Why I Boycotted Cinco de Mayo". I have always felt that here in America it is just another reason to party and not only Americans but Mexican Americans even do not know exactly what is the history or meaning of that day. Not to mention we are usually getting specials on American products. I will have to say today especially I have spent time on reseachering history I should know as my mother is Mexican as well of course my grandparents. So that was also a plus to understanding some of the meaning, people/events, and words throughout your poetry. I have some questions I would really appreciate your feedback and answers to when you are able to respond. I have eliminated some due to answers found in my research, but these I have not yet come across. I am looking forward to your return email and thank you for taking the time to read my email and questions.

Jessica

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With being a part of the Latino movement when did you finally feel your voice was finally heard and achieved your sense of recognition?

As a part of the Chicana/o literary movement, my voice was never separate in the first place. From the very beginning, as a writer, I knew I was a step in the path we were creating for ourselves and for the seven generations walking behind us. I was always speaking for and with a larger community - which includes the dead and the yet unborn. My goal was never to be "heard", expressly, just the fact that I was writing at all was goal enough. I've never been a writer who was interested in achieving recognition. Of course, I'm grateful for any recognition I have achieved, but only in that it is a reflection on and an achievement of my community.

What was your biggest challenge trying to achieve your goals?

My own lack of self-confidence - however that was constructed socially, historically and politically.

Did you feel more discriminated against due to your nationality or as a woman?

As a woman. Without a doubt. And as not a very attractive woman at that. Secondly, and predicted and dictated by my gender and color, class; my socio-economic status in relation to power and privilege; i.e., not being able to play tennis and drink Scotch with the right people. (not really kidding, but smiling) As a woman of color I am ignored and excluded from page and mind as writer.

What was your biggest challenge as a writer?

See above. My own lack of self-confidence. But, as one of my mentors, Stanley Kunitz once told me (regarding my shyness), "It gets better."

Due to the history and struggles of the people you express in your writing what do you feel impacted you the most as well as in your work?

My experiences as a member of the welfare class, the poverty class in "America" as an indigenous person of the Américas. And, how I experienced history and struggle as a woman, a young woman of color. Lately, I've been reflecting on the times I've been called a "n..." to my face. And, how power is exercised differentially across the classes.

What do you feel are significant factors in becoming a good writer?

Writing. As I said in an earlier interview, it takes a lot of tending of the crocus bulbs to produce enough saffron for the paella. And reading. As I tell my workshop on the first day of class: "Write, write, write! Read, read, read! And the rest will pretty much take care of itself" - as long as you're not writing in a vacuum. Who you're reading makes a big difference, too. To put the right book in the right hands at the right time is about 80% of my teaching. That's why I like to read poetry blogs, certain ones, I know I'll read something good, something that will inspire. Poetry teaches us ways in which we are all connected.

What is your favorite poem that you have composed and why?

Probably, like a lot of us, the last one I wrote. "Nothing Lasts." Before that, "Shelling the Pecans." But, really, there's an answer to that. "Coffee," the long poem I wrote that's, in part, on the massacre of 45 civilians, mostly women and children, in Chiapas, Mexico is one of my best, I think. It had to be. I like it because the dead are there, speaking and alive. It's the second in a series of four or five poems I consider "docupoems" - a form inspired by my former colleague, Ed Dorn. I consider these four poems to be the "quartet" referred to in DRIVE. The first is "Bananas." I have long been working on the third, "Oil." It's been a long and learning process.

For fun or relaxation what do you enjoy to do?

Ha! Write poetry! Read poetry. I like to dance - helps to get my yayas out. I love and need live music - more like work for me, in that it's so tied in to my poetry. Ha, I ought to deduct it from my taxes. I love to scribble while listening to lyricless music. (Visit me on MySpace and check out the songwriters and bands.) For relaxation, I ought to do more yoga - I've been practicing by myself ever since I was 11. For pure zoning out, fun and relaxation, I work jigsaw puzzles. I'm a jigsaw fanatic. Got any?

Thanks for this, Jessica. Hope it helps. Glad you liked the "Coors" poem, it still makes me laugh, too. And, true.